Parents Just Don’t Understand

In 1988 DJ Jazzy Jeff and The Fresh Prince (Will Smith) released a song entitled: “Parents Just Don’t Understand”. This song was very popular with teens from a variety of backgrounds for many reasons. The most popular was that many teens agreed that their parents did not understand what they were going though as teens. In addition, the song was a light humorous version of hip hop.
Today, we are facing a crisis in education. Many changes have occurred and while teachers and students are being updated, parents are being left out of the loop. Helping your child matriculate from 1st grade to 12th grade successfully used to be an easy task. But now because of technology, testing, new curriculum changes, new data on teaching and learning and various other additives, parents just don’t understand.
In the next few weeks, the articles I post will be for you, parents. Of course, teachers, administrators and others can read these articles and respond, but parents are my main concern this time around. So please check the site often and feel free to reply. I am excited to share some information with you and I can’t wait to hear what you have to say. Articles will be posted every Sunday.
See you soon,

Brian J. T. Watts, Ed.S
Educational Consultant

No Good Men? Why Not?

I am a middle-aged male and I have been hearing certain comments for most of my life. These comments have become the norm nowadays and have almost become standard with women. These comments say that there are no good men “out there” (where ever “out there” is). Women are constantly complaining about the quality of man that exists today and I have something to say about that:
Let’s take a look at a garden and two different gardeners. One gardener is meticulous in the care of his garden and the other gets to his garden when he has time.
Gardener 1 goes out every day to tend to his tomatoes and makes sure the vines are in good shape. He checks his greens for evidence of insects and parasites, he positions his growing melons so they have room and he eliminates the weeds that have sprouted near his prized possessions. When there is no rain, he waters his garden and turns the rich soil when necessary.
Gardener 2 doesn’t do any of the things that the aforementioned gardener does on a regular basis. When he decides to check on his produce, he sees that nature has taken its course. Some of the immature tomatoes have weighted heavy on the vine and broken the weak stems that are customary to tomato plants. His greens have been a scrumptious dinner for insects and weeds have taken over his garden so much that he can barely see the melons that are growing.
In both cases there is a product that can be harvested. Gardener 1 has a great harvest. Sure there are some fruits and vegetables that are not perfect, but for the most part he can rejoice about what he has raised. Gardener 2 will have much less success and should not complain about what he has harvested. Of course, some of his produce will be fine. There are many fruits and vegetables that can grow in adverse situations and still be beautiful and delicious. However, the bulk of his harvest will not be attractive to him or anyone else.
WHAT ARE WE RAISING? Have you realized that our society puts men down on a regular basis? Look at the majority of sit-coms on television. The father (if he is there) is usually stupid or the butt of most of the jokes. When the sit-com takes place in a school, the male principal is an idiot who doesn’t see what is going on right under his nose.
Men are not celebrated in our society. It is bad enough that there are no more “rites of passage” for our youth, but why do we not honor the men? Father’s Day is the most frequently forgotten holiday that exists and Valentine’s Day (a supposed holiday for lovers) has become a women’s holiday where men do not get much, if anything. Wedding anniversaries have become as bad as Valentine’s Day. Women get gifts and men get to give them. Don’t even get me started on weddings. Too late! Isn’t it weird that in a Christian nation (like the USA) our wedding ceremonies focus on the bride, when the Bible stories about weddings always focus on the bridegroom as the star of the wedding?
Now, I know that many of you will say that I don’t know your situation and you didn’t have everything you needed to do what was needed. Let’s go back to the gardeners. If they were both given run-down gardens that had been neglected, what would have happened? Gardener 1 would still come out on top, because he put in the work instead of letting the environment take over. Future seasons would show more and more growth as he continued to invest in the garden. Gardener 2 would soon give up on his garden and blame the environment. Is this who we are? Sure your situations may not be the best right now but as you invest things can and will get better.
If there are no good men, it is because we are not raising good men. Let’s stop complaining and put in the work and grow the kind of men that we can be proud of. By the way, there are good men out there.
So, what can we do?
Here are 3 ideas we can start with:
1. Treat men like they should be treated. Men enjoy gifts, dinners, days off, surprises, etc.
2. Explain to your children and to your friends that the media is not accurately depicting males in our society. Create blogs and campaigns that show Hollywood that you mean business (I will be doing this as well). Support programs that elevate the positive males in our society. They should be listed in your local Chamber of Commerce. If not, a web search should do the trick.
3. Mothers, watch what you say about men. When mothers bash men, they put a hatred for men into their son’s subconscious mind. If they do not grow up to be positive men, they end up hating themselves for becoming what their mother hated. This is a vicious cycle that we must break.
We can alter the future. Let’s make it positive! What do you think? I would love to hear your comments